I'm sick of how people make me feel, don't worry one day I'll be dead
Today the OnePlus 5 was for sale to the world. I purchased the OnePlus 3 in July 2016 then the 3T was released in November 2016 with a 128gb model & now the OnePlus 5. Officially June 26th 11:00pm.
Friday June 15th you finally sat with me. I had told you the night before that if you had extra time to burn would you sit with me. I was almost in tears because time was running out but you had a few more minutes so I was there waiting and sit with me. We talked about family, your mom other things, how to lorry my TV bill of all things. When we talked about your mom I put my hand on your hand just to show compassion. I enjoyed having time with you very much I even thanked you for it.
I'm okay with yesterday's disappointment it wasn't her fault. She is a sweetheart and I know I will get my time. Talked to her tonight via Facebook messenger, talked about work a bit then life. Currently my grandma is in the rest home with dementia, she thinks her mother might have the same thing. Sometimes I need to stop caring about the stupid pity crap I put on myself and think about others. She's the sweetest person I know.
4/28/17. Got to sit down with today to talk a little bit, so beautiful that she is. Talked about her cats. Asked her how she was doing. She was eat cake & a corn dog. She had a drink with a straw with her lip stick all over it. I could talk to her for hours and hours. Take care sweetheart.
I basically asked for her to sit with me tonight but it didn't happen. I know it's stupid but I'm holding back tears right now. So upset when/if there will be a next time I don't know. Why is it so hard. Why.
Every Friday Saturday & Sunday from 6pm to 7pm. I sit here on my lunch break with no one to talk to. Week after week after week. Nobody.
I'm just having another down day. Wish I had someone to spend lunch with, never do. Always see all these people together. I'm always the first person to say anything to anybody. I have some good days but they never last long. Depressed.
I always ask for permission to call but you always say no, however your always posting on Facebook. Really sad to say.
Today you weren't able to take a break during which time I was taking lunch. I got you your favorite snack & gave it to you as you were leaving. You were off the following day.
Some days like today I'm sad.
You came & sat with me just before my lunch was over, talking about things that were going on with you. You were recently robbed at your house & a strange guy was hanging around your house. All I thought was that I don't want nothing to happen to you. Your so beautiful sitting here in front of me. Picture click, didn't happen will it ever. I appreciated your time to sit with me, told you later in a Facebook message. You were cutting labels so I guess you needed a table big enough & to sit you are always on the run on your feet. ❤️ You came back later that evening I was able to check you out before you left. So lucky to be there at that place & time. Always beautiful after a days work. I can sit there & listen to you all day long. ❤️ you sweetheart.
Thursday March 16
Got to see two of my friends today one Kay & Cheryl B, both sweet ladies.
Never really having any real close relationship to this point in my 30yrs of age. There are friends I do care about but keep their distance & I don't blame them. I think about them every day. I don't want to say their names. I see people gathered around one person having a conversation but I'm hard at work thinking to myself if I talked to her it's always some damn ulterior motive.
I hate being alone but I guess I have no one else to blame but myself. I hate seeing people with there boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess when people see me it's a turn off. No returned calls or messages replied too.
Someday I will find her she is out there somewhere. She will be my whole world.
I kissed you on the cheek, Saturday January 14th, after giving you a early Valentines Day present. You are a beautiful woman sweet & caring. It is just nice to see you. You were the first one to kiss me a few years ago after I guess not seeing me for a while, but I will probably never know the reason. I know you are older than me but I love you.
So happy to see her today long black hair so beautiful. Just beautiful.💗 Hope she still has her flowers that I gave her Sunday hope they're growing. 🌼🌷
Saw two of my friends today Cherye & Kay. Always happy to see them.
Phone never rings, no one talks to me. No one to spend time with. Life sucks. Sucks Sucks Sucks.